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One commonality I have noticed in many people, is their tendency to think if only things were different then they would be truly happy. If only they had more money, if only they could find their soul mate, or perhaps if they could finally build their dream home—then they would be FINALLY be genuinely happy.
What I see as the problem to this continual search for that something to achieve happiness, is the person gets so caught up in what they don’t like about their current situation, they unknowingly are creating what they don’t want with their negative (don’t like) mentality.
A person’s consistent negative mentality only works to create and bring in more unwanted and unpleasing things directly onto their life path.
Consider this: do you know anyone that seems to always be caught up in a bad relationship roller-coaster? One bad relationship will end and another person will take their place, the new person ending up being just as bad as, or even worse than their previous mate?
This person is always searching for just that right person that will complete them—this imagery of someone better is often thought of while they are still caught up in their current unpleasing relationship. They blame all their unhappiness on this other person and dwell on how their life would be better if only he or she were different.
The problem with the above scenario is the person’s dominate thought vibration is pinpointed on everything that displeases them about their current mate. So with this powerful, whirlwind of negative vibration swirling around them, it is no surprise their new relationships turn out to be replicas of their previous relationship failures.
The same is true with money or anything someone wants. For one: simply acquiring ‘things’ will never bring happiness to anyone! And, if a person is continually thinking about what they hate or dislike about where they are, what they have, and where they are going, even if that new ‘thing’ does come to them it will have been created from their negativity space.
From a negative creation space, there will always be something unwanted included in new things acquired or experienced.
To allow better, more wanted things accessibility into our lives, it is crucial to appreciate where we are! Whatever it is that you are wanting, the thing that you think will bring more happiness to your life; you must find applicable points to appreciate about your current circumstance relative to your desires.
For example: Someone trying to sell their home for many years and still it has not sold. The old house has to sell before they are able to build their dream home. What could be holding up the sale of their house is the owners focus on all the reasons they want and think they need OUT of their current house so bad! **************Instead they should focus on how the house they are trying to sell has served their family well and how excited they were when they first bought it. They should take the time to care for their current house, cleaning and decorating the home. This will help to communicate to any buyers the love they hold for this home. When new buyers walk inside they will be able to feel that vibration and will be more likely to make an offer! Ever wonder why some homes have a good feeling about them and others are just ‘off’ a bit, this is most likely why—it’s all about vibration!!
Remember the Universe knows what you want—Ask, Believe, and Receive. But, just saying what you want isn’t enough—you must truly feel what it would be like to have something in order for it to come into your experience. In the above example the owners should not only focus on the attributes they love about their current home, they should also concentrate on how they will feel once their house is sold and constructions begins on their dream home.
Anything that will conjure the emotions you associate with having, being or doing the things you want is necessary in manifesting your desires.
Ever wonder why some bad things happen quicker and in some cases more often than good things to some people? It’s because emotions run strong when someone is passionate about something—hate is an extremely powerful emotion but, one that will deliver a manifestation that most will not want!
For example: If a woman thinks about how her boyfriend doesn’t respect her, in most cases this thought will bring up passionate emotions such as rage, hate and deep sadness. This is not emotions she should hold in her vibration. Doing so will only help to create more of the things and people that will bring her similar feelings and experiences.
Focusing on unwanted feelings is sending out a strong vibrational signal to the Universe—this works to bring back to you experiences and people that will arouse even more of these lower vibrational feelings.
Listen to your inner-guidance! If you’re feeling bad in any moment, you know that is not your inner-guidance—you instead you are allowing something you consider negative and unwanted to influence your feelings.
Get off the subject if your feelings start a downturn, recognize the shift and take steps to uplift yourself. Do not allow anyone to imprison you in their vibrational downward momentum.
Practice finding beneficial aspects and thoughts in relation to everything! Doing so will help in creating and maintaining a desirable vibrational momentum, regardless of the circumstance or people you come into contact with.
Being happy right now with what you have is crucial in allowing more to flow into your life!
It is very true there are people that can and have achieved many things through hard work, determination and possibly even unethical actions. However, during that process of strife how happy do you think they really are????
Truthfully think about your feelings, what is most important to you? Feelings of being loved, safe, abundant, secure, excited, free, peaceful, and joyful are all emotions most of us want to experience. Associate what you have now with the feelings that you find most important and you will no longer need to search for the next, new thing to make you happy, you will almost immediately start attracting wanted experiences and things into your life!
I’m sure we all know them or are related to a few (or many) unhappy people. Those people who would find something to complain about in regards to every circumstance.
It’s important to remember these types of people in most cases act out because they are extremely displeased with their own lives. When they are critical of others it is a reflection of how they perceive themselves.
With that said, it is still at times difficult to sustain your own happiness in the midst of another’s complaining rant. What can be done to lessen the potential negative influence that a ranting outburst could have?
If you can remove yourself from the person—do that! Excuse yourself to make an important phone call or to run an important errand, any excuse to leave the situation will stop the flood of negativity spewing from another person.
Of course many times excusing yourself from uncomfortable people is impossible. You may experience them daily at work or they may be family members or even friends.
In an unavoidable situation, when you’re in the midst or the focus of someone’s emotional fit, listening and letting the person vent may be all they need. Often a response isn’t even needed and in many cases responding and trying to ‘make’ them feel better only makes things worse!
In the case of a person who generally complains about everything, here is where you can counter each complaint with something pleasing to you relative to what their grumbling about. This technique will either influence the complaining person to feel better or they will take notice that you do not want to hear their complaints.
A consistently happy person who is joyful most of the time is many times a thorn in the side of unhappy people. They would rather be around people who will complain with them and join them in their misery. This is a good thing, if they are going to continue on their distressed path, that is their choice and if another person who will commiserate with them is who they believe they need, you do not want to be that person! Allow them to move on and enjoy them when they can be joyful with you rather than pushing against everything and everyone.
You can still hold the image of another person in a loving place. Imagine them as you know their soul to be—caring, beautiful and warm. Understanding that everyone has their own unique path to live and it’s not your job to convince them your way is ‘better,’ because for them it may not be!
It seems most of society expects another to listen and sympathize or empathize with another person’s problems and complaints—even if the complaints are constant. You don’t want to appear uncaring but, you do not want to allow another person to suck the happy and joy right out of you either!
You have the power to allow another person’s actions and moods to influence you or not. Throughout this series I have discussed how momentum is built through the dominate vibration (our thoughts) we sustain. With enough practice our own happiness cannot be influenced by another person or circumstances because our momentum simply will not allow it.
Early in this series I touched upon the use of a Vision board and want to explain this topic in a little more depth. Here’s a Pinterest link for an example of a Vision board: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/151855818661561581/ A Vision board can be made from a large poster board or any type of flat large surface you can tape pictures that inspire you.
Jack Canfield, the Author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul books is a teacher I have admired since learning about what creates happiness and if there really is a secret to it all. Here is a website link of Jack Canfield’s advice on creating an empowering Vision Board: http://jackcanfield.com/how-to-create-an-empowering-vision-book/
A box could also be used—decorating the Vision/Joy box and adding pictures and reminders of things you love as well as things you want.
These tools can be useful in setting your expectation. Ask, believe and receive—when you find visual images of what you are asking for, you are then including it in your vibration.
Every time you return to look through the images, the feelings are again brought up—which will help to strengthen your expectation. You want to match your dominate vibration to your desires.
Many law of attraction teachers explain the reason someone wants anything is because of the feelings it will bring them. So try to imagine as clearly as possible what it would feel like to do, be or have what you are wanting.
Our feelings are the first manifestation and if that vibration is dominantly held the material manifestation will not be far behind.
Scrapbooking can even be used as a tool to inspire higher vibrational feelings. Including photos of loved ones and re-visiting the memories will help to recreate feelings.
Start to recognize what in your daily life brings you joy and what does not. If something comes up that is unwanted, imagine what you do want in regards to that thing.
Anything a person can do to draw their attention from the unwanted is a useful tool. As we grow into what society deems as responsible adults, we tend to forget how much we enjoyed life as children.
As I watch my grandchildren I notice their excitement when they wake up in the morning. Just looking for the fun they can have next! Fun is their dominant goal for the day. I think we could all benefit from this simpler way of thinking. So if a Vision board inspires you and is enjoyable to put together, do it—if not don’t. The point is to do whatever you can to have fun throughout your day, not to see what you can manifest materially but, because it simply feels good!!!! 🙂 🙂
So what to do if you’re in the midst of having a bad day—one thing after another has gone wrong? For example: a parade of grumpy customers has chosen you to impart their crankiness, or a contract fell through at the last minute, or your boss just gave the shiny new 22 year old, that you trained, the position you’ve been wanting for more than a year. You may be at work, busy with no chance to meditate or nap to bring yourself back into alignment.
In a situation like that if you cannot remove yourself from the situation, you can do something to ‘remove’ your thoughts. A quick process or technique is needed that may help, and at this point your willing to try anything.
Focusing on words that feel good when you think them will prevent you from stewing about what’s happening and in doing so stop the unwanted momentum. Because after all you know this momentum will just keep bringing more similar experiences if this energy in motion isn’t stopped.
When I refer to alignment, I simply mean bringing yourself back into sync with God, your inner-being—your source. A process I learned from Esther (Abraham Hicks), she called it the Alphabet process, is helpful. You simply start with the letter A and move up the alphabet thinking of positive words that starts with that letter. A: appreciation, abundance…B: beautiful, bountiful, blessings…C: clarity, cute…D: delicious, delightful, you get the idea.
This A, B, C process almost immediately shifts your focus from the negative circumstance around you and stops the negative thinking because you’re trying to think of positive words for each letter.
For me this Alphabet process is also helpful in bed as you’re falling asleep. When I’m having trouble falling asleep this is an effective process that helps me drift off to sleep in a more positive state of mind. For me I also wake up in a much better mood after I’ve focused on this method while falling asleep.
The A, B, C process is an effective nighttime process to do rather than lying in your bed dwelling on all the bad things that may have happened during your day or worrying about things that may happen or you have to do the next day.
I recognized that people seemed to stay stuck in what some define as happiness and others suffering. Their thought streams continually in motion, creating a powerful momentum that consistently supports their respective realities.
After learning that our thought streams are created by our habitual patterns of thoughts, which creates they type of reality we are living, it was easier for me to understand why some people continue to live what they consider to be unwanted experiences—time and time again!
Early in my research of these patterns, I recognized my pattern of thoughts had created the details of my life—no outside forces did this to me, I was the responsible culprit!
Up to this point I had been stuck in the ‘woe is me’ state of mind and from that been attracting matching experiences and people of similar vibrations continually into my life.
By the time I finally realized the correlation between thoughts and reality, I had already established a strong momentum that had been consistently supported by my thought stream of, fear, lack, sadness, anger, stress, and even hopelessness.
Comparing other people as well, I quickly noticed how people who were abundant and blessed in most areas of their lives always seemed happy. Every time I would talk to them they had something good to say about EVERYTHING! Okay, at the time I wasn’t feeling great about my current reality so this was a bit annoying but, still I was determined to understand why and how these ‘happy’ people maintained their joy and their abundant lives.
I finally realized their happiness and joy was not coming from the reality they were living—their happiness and joy came first!
Even when something unexpected and unwanted came up in the lives of these ‘happy’ people, they were able to quickly turn it around. And, even in the midst of what others would consider a catastrophe, these ‘happy’ people would still find something good within the experience.
I realized their ability to find the goodness in even a catastrophe is what brought the ‘happy’ people out of their unhappiness quicker than people who were on the ‘woe is me’ thought stream.
The ability to pull your-self out of despair quickly, regardless of circumstance, is valuable because the unwanted thoughts aren’t around long enough to establish a strong pattern of thought.
When thought streams are consistently moving in a positive direction, that vibration and momentum brings to us more like feelings and things that will support our thought patterns!
The good thing about learning this is that anyone can start from right where they are and shift their thoughts right now!
Even me in the throes of my ‘woe is me’ stream I was able to start noticing when an unpleasant thought would pop into my mind. And, instead of allowing that thought to grow into even more unpleasant thoughts I started shifting thoughts to those that felt better. In doing so began turning my pattern of thinking to a more pleasing and consistent thought stream.
I wanted to create a more positive dominate vibration within me and I knew this could be accomplished through the thoughts I gave the most attention to. And, I also learned if attention is not given to negative thoughts they soon dissipate and no longer would they be stuck in my vibrational thought stream.
It didn’t take long to notice not only was I feeling better but, people around me were responding differently to me and more of my daily experiences were actually enjoyable!
Not only was my feelings changing, my material/physical experiences were improving as well! After struggling for many years financially, my husband was hired on with a great company and the income I was bringing in was no longer necessary. I was finally able to be a stay at home mom and housewife (something I yearned for after having our first child), which worked out better for our family.
It is nice to know we all have the power within us to shift our thoughts anytime and anywhere. Even if currently you’re in a marriage or relationship that seems unbearable to you, it’s nice to know you can right now start to shift your perspective—for example:
- Start thinking about the aspects of your partner you do like—even if it’s only a physical attribute at this point, at least it’s something you appreciate.
- Begin noticing the things your partner does that pleases you and tell them you appreciate whatever it is.
- Imagine your partner the way your inner source sees them—as a loving, beautiful, perfect soul.
- Expect good things are happening for your family; believe all is well and evolving perfectly.
- The minute you recognize a conversation is turning toward a subject that has resulted in previous arguments, get off that topic! Or remove your-self from the conversation all together—make any excuse, you forgot to do something, anything to head off a possible argument.
- Imagine your ideal relationship—focus on how it makes you feel and put your attention on anything that helps to inspire those types of feelings within you.
- Know every morning you wake up with a clean slate—you can begin your day with any thought you desire and that thought pattern will grow into the stream you choose.
After practicing the above for a while you may notice your partner responding to you better and your daily routine with this person will become more relaxed and easier. You may start to see your relationship in a new light—loving each other as you once did.
Or it may become clear it is time to part ways from your partner, either way shifting your thoughts to what inspires better feelings within you will create a thought stream that brings clarity instead of confusion and solutions to current problems.
Some Therapists recommend talking out your problems. I’m no Therapist but, I’ve been married for over 30 years and I can say from experience and confidence talking more about your problems only is helpful in stiring up more problems!!!!!!
After practicing creating the type of thought patterns you prefer, you will begin to notice even when catastrophes and difficulties do arise they will not send your life into a life-altering downward spiral. You will be able to perceive unwanted experiences differently and in doing so will be able to quickly find clarity to any situation.
This is not a secret available to only the Elite, it is a power within us all that if recognized and practiced will change the life you are living if you desire.
As for me, I continue to reach for and find better feeling thoughts because I have and am enjoying the immense power this thought stream has to offer!
I think most people would agree, they want to be happy. My intention in writing this series is to share what I have learned about this (happy) subject.
I wondered why some people seemed to be ecstatically happy, some miserable, some wealthy, and some very poor. Why is there such a disparity among these groups of people?
And, why do these groups seldom move out of their situations—the happy group continued on their path to more joy, the seemingly miserable people continued to spiral downward into more despair.
Consider this, if you open a bill you cannot pay—where do your thoughts usually start to go? The first thought might be that you don’t have enough money to pay the bill right now. But, then that pattern of thought usually grows into worrying about the high late fees, how will those get paid, why can’t you find a better job, why can’t your spouse find a better job, the late fees are going to cause all the other bills to be late and be harder to pay: this pattern of thought may even lead you into hopelessness and thinking, ‘Oh my Lord you may lose your house!!!!’
This pattern of thought about opening a bill could have been shifted after that first initial thought. Instead of going to the ‘dark’ side, remember how things actually have worked out in the past and this could too. Or how something could turn up that makes it easier to pay—an unexpected discount may occur for example, freeing up money for to pay that bill.
Just one type of thought usually creates a stream of similar thoughts, which as explained in more depth earlier in this series, sends out a vibration to the universe which brings back similar vibrations in opportunities, ideas, people, and circumstances into your life. Not just sometimes—every time!
So take more notice of the thoughts you’re thinking. Know that you have the power to shift your thought streaming pattern at any time. Create a better feeling stream of thoughts, which in turn will bring back to you things and people that inspire your HAPPY!! 🙂
So throughout the beginning of this series the importance of maintaining good thoughts has been heavily discussed. The road to happiness is built from the vibrational momentum our feelings create.
Some people may think feeling good and being appreciative is a nice concept but, do not understand how it truly relates directly to everything in your life—yes, this includes what many consider to be practical things, such as how much money you have or don’t have.
Remember the old saying, ‘The rich get richer and the poor get poorer!’ There is more truth to this saying than many realize!
If someone spends the majority of their time worrying about how they are going to pay their bills, this type of shortage consciousness will create a momentum that will continue to create even more shortage and lack into their lives!
Do you ever wonder why when 1 thing breaks down in your car that other things in your life start to break down also? If something like this happens, you know an unwanted momentum has been set into motion.
Now that you know how vibrational momentum works, you can better understand why reaching for happier, more pleasant thoughts will be helpful in creating the life you want.
This concept of being happy is not just a Pollyanna way of thinking—it is a very practical approach to improving EVERY area of your life!
Our emotions and feelings directly influence every single aspect of our lives. It is the foundation for creating the vibrational momentum in our lives. The type of momentum is based on how we are feeling most of the time.
So to all the skeptics that think feeling happy is not going to fatten up their bank accounts—think again, because it absolutely can and will if you give more focus to feeling abundant rather than focus on lack full thinking.
Consider what having plenty of money feels like. Does it inspire a sense of security, excitement and/or relief within you? If it is too difficult to feel this while focusing on money, focus your attention on something that does inspire these types of abundant feelings.
Some people may wonder how they can possibly feel abundant when clearly their reality is they do not have enough money right now to even pay their bills or buy a lottery ticket!
Start from where you are—you know when something is working to make you feel better or worse, remember that inner-guidance? Trust this guidance—look for things that make you feel some sort of improvement and you will begin to shift your vibrational momentum toward something that will bring more pleasing things to you.
Sometimes it is better to not think at all—if this means take a nap, take a nap! Meditate, take 10 long breaths, take a walk, love on your kids, your pets, do anything that will free your mind from the unhelpful chatter of your mind.
Don’t be afraid of the bad experiences or the negative thoughts that will surely creep in now or then! This type of departure from what is preferred helps us to compare and distinguish more precisely what we want instead.
What I think can be most valuable is the ability to recognize that bad experiences are similar to an alarm system. It is trying to grab our attention—it is our inner guidance telling us we are headed into something unwanted or in the midst of something undesirable.
My belief is God never focuses upon sickness, injustice or a lack of anything, our inner-guidance only perceives the goodness in everything and everyone. If something feels bad to us, this is our signal we are not in harmony with our inner guidance. Learn to trust these feelings!
Bad feelings such as fear, sadness, unworthiness, frustration and anger are built in alarm systems to indicate when we are veering or have fallen off the desired path.
If we choose to continue feeding into these unwanted feelings, more of the things and people that are displeasing to us will continue to parade through our lives.
Thank goodness we have this alarm system within us all, because we are able to take notice if we choose. And, in taking notice we can identify what we want instead and change our thoughts accordingly.
For example, if we didn’t have a signal to let us know when our phone battery is low we would never know when to re-charge it! We need signaling systems to guide our next move!
Of course there are certain things we may be experiencing that we cannot immediately change. For example, someone may feel like their current job is sucking the joy out of them. However, if they were to quit this job without having another source of income first, the ramifications of such a loss of income and security would most likely result in even more discomfort.
Appreciation is extremely powerful in shifting our perspective. Situations such as the example above can be used to our advantage by first remembering how you felt when you first got that job, you now want to leave. Remembering why at first you really wanted that job and how getting the job made you FEEL at the time of being hired will help to bring up better feelings about your job.
A new job is usually exciting because it triggers feelings of accomplishment, eagerness, security and well-being. Someone wants and appreciates what we have to offer by hiring us—they need and desire the skills we have to offer.
By remembering and appreciating a current job in this manner or a particular situation or even person, it will start to shift your perspective. Appreciation is the quickest path toward bringing in something better.
We will always be reaching for something new, through a momentum of appreciation, the opportunities will be clear, the action to take will be revealed to us, and our state of mind will be in the allowing mode to receive our desires in every area of our life!
I have to admit before I learned about the Law of Attraction; I was what most people would consider a very pessimistic person.
I balked at believing the Law of Attraction could have anything to do with my happiness or unhappiness for that matter.
BEFORE my realization—my AHA moment, my belief was that it surely was not my fault that I was experiencing unpleasant things. I would continually make excuses for my poor health (my bad genes, not enough money to buy healthier food, needed better healthcare…), my scarce finances (not enough opportunities, lacking in area jobs…) and my bad moods I usually always blamed on another person.
I was under the wrong assumption that life was just happening to me and I was floundering through my days.
So when I stumbled upon how some people were seemingly bringing happiness and prosperity into their lives through Law of Attraction, it caught my interest but, I was very skeptical! My first thoughts were this stuff is way too weird and these are just more money-making schemes.
After watching the DVD, the Secret by Rhonda Byrne I started feeling something that startled me at first—HOPE! I thought for the first time in my life that maybe I really did have the power to change things in my life for the better!
I probably watched the Secret 10 times or more! And, so my journey began, scouring Youtube for anything Law of Attraction related. This is where I found Esther (Abraham) and Jerry Hicks and their work.
There are thousands of Esther (Abraham) Hick’s teachings available for FREE on Youtube to anyone. So I thought if they are sharing this huge portion of their work for free, money must not be their sole motivation. Maybe there was something true and very real about this Law of Attraction!
I began using the processes suggested by these teachers. Vision boards, pivoting, focus wheels were what I found to be most helpful and in doing so begun shifting my thoughts to things wanted rather than what I didn’t want or like.
I found myself finding and having fun in things I once considered boring drudgery and responsibilities.
The first indication that happened in my life is that I was actually feeling better! I thought—maybe we all really could have, be or do anything we want!
Ask, believe and receive—I knew this from the Bible but, to hear more about how people were actually applying it in their lives was mind blowing to me!
Not only was I waking up in the morning with more energy and happier, I actually was excited to get up and start my day! This may not seem like much to some but, at one time I was so depressed, just getting out of bed seemed too hard and frankly pointless!
I no longer was just going through the motions. I enjoyed what I was doing—that appreciation thing really does transform your state of mind!
My next thought was if this stuff really does work, perhaps I could finally lose weight practicing these concepts. I had struggled with being overweight for more than 20 years up to that point.
I took the Vision board idea a step further and created a power-point of the things I wanted in my life. Included were images of healthy women at an ideal weight, exercising, happy and of course a new wardrobe to match my soon to be new body.
Amazingly to me I began losing weight within the first month!!! It took me about a year to lose the 100 pounds I wanted but, after 20 years of trying and miserably failing, this to me was a miracle!
My initial weight loss of the 100 pounds was approximately 4 years ago and I have happily and easily maintained my desired goal weight. I feel happier and healthier now at 50 than I ever did in my 20’s!
I now have a few Vision power-points created called: My Vibration, My Grid, My Happy Place and My Home. I add to them randomly and every time I flip through them, they bring me joy.
I am forever grateful to Rhonda Byrne, Esther (Abraham) and Jerry Hicks along with the many other Law of Attraction teachers I have learned from.
I wake up thinking something wonderful is about to happen and I’m excited to experience what is coming next!
Now I know the real secret is inside all of us and it IS as simple as choosing to be HAPPY! Happiness is what opens the door to your allowing all the good to flow into your life! Take a chance, seek out FUN…is the price of happiness too high for you? Try it for yourself, what have you got to lose?
Some people may believe if they stop pushing against what they do not want; the unwanted experience or difficult person will not go away or even worse grow more problematic!
However, just the opposite is true; the less attention you give to anything the more likely it is to fade out of your experience and the happier you will be for its absence!
The Joy List discussed early in this series is a process to encourage you to focus upon things you love, enjoy and appreciate. The making of this simple list is an amazing distraction technique to draw attention away from displeasing things.
I’m sure we all know people who are most of the time complaining. It seems if one problem is solved, the next difficulty is following soon behind!
It is no coincidence that consistent complaining and fighting to change a situation only accomplishes bringing into your experience more to complain about—I know this from personal experience!
Give it a try, ignore people and circumstances that you know give you grief. It does no one any good to try to convince another person your perspective is right. Give up the struggle!
The struggle is only working against you! That type of negative vibration only works to build a stronger momentum of like things coming back into your experience.
With enough practice a new momentum will be created and once difficult people and circumstances will fade out of your life.
Of course there are people, and loved ones we cannot or do not want to ignore. In these cases it is extremely helpful to imagine them as you prefer them to be.
It is far more productive to focus on what you appreciate about people and situations rather than push against what you will never be able to change about the people or the situations.
Unconditional love is realized easier when you stop trying to identify and change what you believe to be are the faults of others and instead focus on what you appreciate about them.